JakeWatts23's Wiz-Blog

Fantasy Football, I Love You | September 9, 2010

As one of my favorite and most intelligent Ying Yang Twinz song goes, “Boom It’s On”, referring to the feeling that is setting in tonight and will erupt starting tomorrow night. The night that’s better than the night before Christmas, for most it more exciting and experienced more sober than New Years Eve, and for some heavy gamblers the night that is more nerve wracking, exciting, and invested than the night before their wedding night (if they were lucky to get that far in relationships). It’s the 24 hours before the NFL football season starts.

Let’s face facts, I try and stay busy at work. To my company, I really do try, but on this day and for many days to come, I become obsessed with pressing the refresh button my Safari explorer on profootballtalk.com, yahoo sports, and on ESPN just to maybe get the inside scoop or some news for my fantasy football team. I don’t have any actual feelings (except hatred) towards any of the teams involved in tomorrow nights game, but what I do have is Purple Jesus, my prized fantasy possession, my work horse, the one and only the Adrian Peterson (enough hype?) going in game one to start my fantasy season off right. Besides the pure and budding rivalry with my week one opponent Alex Kimball (who I might add is playing hardcore fantasy football in South Korea), I will be watching AP on every Minnesota possession screaming at Brad Childress to just hand the ball off to AP in the red zone and get my guy some damn touches! For those football fans that don’t play fantasy football, press up your nerdy glasses and ask me the question “don’t you want New Orleans to win to give an in-division rival a week one loss”?

No. No. No. I don’t, I don’t care what the final score is and screw you for asking (it would be nice if they lost). All I care is that my stud gets his.

This is the grip of fantasy football. It is the glass of whiskey for the alcohol deprived, it’s the nicotine for the cigarette puffers, and its the Prada bag on the credit card for those females reading this blog (thank you). In other words, it’s the crack.

For the last three weeks everyone involved in my fantasy league has been going crazy. Trade proposals here, nonsensical free agent picks there, all with a dash of preseason S#!& talk. In business terms, no moves that truly affect anyone’s bottom line. These last three weeks have meant nothing in practical terms but they have meant everything at the same time. When it comes down to the .00 mark on Monday nights San Diego vs. Kansas City game, week one will be decided. Fantasy leagues world wide will have two groups of people: The F you for doubting my team, I told you I’m the Ish group that got on the board with a win and the F you (Insert NFL Figure Here) for (not doing what you are paid MILLIONS of dollars to do) group. Next week’s offices will be filled with co-workers discussing how their team pulled off a miracle victory because Phillip Rivers found Malcolm Floyd in the last 30 seconds of the game for a 10 yard pass to give his team a one point lead in a perfectly synchronized comeback from an early deficit. And those will be countered with how one guys team lost in “the worst fantasy loss that you have ever heard let me tell you why”. Boss’s will become unprofessional to talk crap to the associates after they just beat their team, and associates will get fired for beating the bosses team. College roommates will have houses divided with 1-0 teams and 0-1 teams, but they’ll still be drunk. People who play across an entire body of water will be able to celebrate victories and losses on different time zones (Kimball Shout Out), but will still be able to rub it in. The possibilities and outcomes will be endless and are undescribe-able.

The point of this pointless blog entry (the first of many this season and the first in a while) is to wish all of my fellow fantasy players out there good luck on your season. Sleep tight tonight because the madness starts tomorrow and I can’t wait… I love fantasy football.

One last thing Please Stay Healthy Beanie Wells!

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1 Comment »

  1. Good luck bro…I will be out here in korea watching these games in the middle of the night. Can’t wait for this shit to kick off…I have been on espn,yahoo,cbs,rotowire,rotoworld, and any other site u can think of for 8 hours a day these past 2 weeks…its about fucking time!

    Comment by Kimball — September 9, 2010 @ 12:55 pm


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